Somehow, many people feel obligated to give away their time and energy to others. But why? Perhaps they feel the need to prove themselves or have the intense desire to be liked?
The problem is that by caring too much about opinions of other people, you become their servant. If you find yourself in that situation often, I will share with you a powerful method to regain your sovereignty and show the world that you value yourself. This method is called: ‘walking away’.
Walking away seems rude, but sometimes it’s a necessary measure to exert a sense of power over a situation.
In a lifetime you meet a variety of people. Some of these people have difficulties respecting other people’s boundaries. Some of them are clingy and demand a great chunk of your time. Others are simply cruel assholes that seek to take advantage of people for their own gain.
When you show these people that you’re willing and able to remove yourself from their presence it will not only send them a message that they do not own you; it will give you back control over your own faculty.
The power of ‘walking away’ has two great companions.
- The word ‘no’
If you often find yourself wasting your time to the whims of other people. Or worse; you are often being taken advantage of and used or even abused by them, it is very likely that you have difficulties saying ‘no’ and that you lack direction in life. The inability to say ‘no’ and the absence of direction in life leads to you not standing firm. If you’re not standing firm, you’re easily caught up in the affairs of other people.
The thing is: when people notice that you lack direction – for example in the form of commitment to a personal goal – they will see your time as less valuable than theirs. This observation legitimizes you doing stuff for them instead of for yourself. In their eyes, you’re at least doing something valuable with your time which is being a utility – for their interest.
However, when you are committed to a goal, it shows that you value your time and, therefore, your life. People will realize that you’re spending your time in ways that are more important than serving them.
Also, by keeping your eyes on the ball, it’s way easier to walk away from situations in which people violate your boundaries or downright abuse you. This could be the case in regards to the workplace, marriage and even friendships.
Being tethered to your own path results in you caring less about the affairs of others. When you focus on yourself, you will not engage in needy, approval seeking behavior because there is only one person you have to prove yourself to: you.
Walking away from abusive people and destructive environments will protect your self-respect and integrity. It shows the world that you decide and are not decided for. It shows your friends, family and spouse that, although you love them, you are not dependent on them and will not stick around when they cross your boundaries. It shows the person you are doing business with that you have plenty of other options and, despite the fact that you’re interested, the deal is not a necessity for you.
Walking away creates an abundance mindset. Even if you don’t have a lot of money, possessions or friendships, it signals that you are utterly content. You might like and love certain people in your life, but you don’t need them. Luxury, a million dollars in the bank, a Lamborghini, a trophy wife… it’s all great, but without these externals you’ll be perfectly fine as well.
The willingness to walk away, and mean it, is your strongest negotiating position, because either way, you win.