This week is my third short sabbatical, although I can’t really say it is. I still have a lot of work to do, although I’ve granted myself a slower pace. I’ve already created and uploaded Wednesday’s and Sunday’s videos, so my channel will go auto-pilot the coming days which is a huge relief. This week, my attention goes to a book I’m working on about dealing with ‘nasty people’ and (possibly) setting up an Instagram page.
I haven’t figured out yet what’s more stressful; making these videos or the huge growth the channel is currently experiencing. What I have noticed, however, is that during the last weeks I increasingly focused on results and often wandered in some conceptual future made of ‘what-ifs’.
When pursuing a goal, I think it’s necessary sometimes to address the future in the form of planning, but no more. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of attaching ourselves to outcomes that aren’t there yet. Also, it’s very easy to become too immersed in the YouTube world (and creative pursuits in general) to a point of self-neglect. My body tells me it’s really time to let go, relax, and enjoy the present. Aside from writing a couple of hours a day, I’ll be reading, meditating, walking, spending some time with loved ones, working out and doing nothing.
I read a book yesterday named Tales From The Tao by Solala Towler, which contains a series of profound stories from the ancient works Lieh Tzu & Zhuangzi and quotes from the Tao Te Ching. It reminded me how much I appreciate a simple life. Especially when I read the tale ‘Down by the River’ about an old man who is known to be the wisest sage in the country. The king summoned him to bring his wisdom to the castle and spend time among noblemen, not to mention that he would be highly rewarded for his efforts. Even though this offer could have led to great fame, wisdom and wealth, the man declined, because he rather spent his time down by the river.
Of course, I’m not a wise sage, but I understand were the sage in the story is coming from. Lately, I got thousands of comments, likes, emails & other messages from people. I appreciate this very much, and I’m absolutely honored that so many are watching my videos. It’s really like a dream come true. People telling me that my work helps them is beyond fulfilling and gives my life meaning. By all means: keep sending me questions if you have some!
On the other hand, I realize that I don’t seek fame. I don’t like to be in the center of attention. I love my peace and quiet, my modest life, my small social circle.
As opposed to other YouTubers, I value my privacy a lot. This is the main reason why I don’t show my face in my videos; especially now some of them get more than 100k views; I just wouldn’t like it when my face is all over the internet. Despite the fact that my channel is relatively small, I sometimes ponder over questions like:
What if I get recognized on the streets? What if my identity gets public? What if I experience fame?
I know: lots of people actually want this. I’m not one of them. I don’t even publish my videos on my personal social media pages, and most of my acquaintances don’t have a clue about what I’m doing. When someone asks me I’ll tell, but, overall, I’m not so talkative about what I do. Perhaps all of this will change? Who knows. Whatever happens: amor fati.
After I’ve published this small piece, I’ll take a (cold) shower and go to the city park to chill and, probably, write some pages on my little Chromebook. My fridge is filled with nice and healthy food, my house is fairly clean, and the sun is shining. Life is fine.
Thanks everyone for your attention! Have a great week!